ONCE AGAIN, I SWEAR I REALLY AM ALIVE

AHAHAHAHA So guys, I swear I'm alive. I've just been super stressed, really busy, and just completely blocked.

I've had terrible writer's and artist's block, so I haven't gotten anything done at all. But today I finally was able to get two drawings done!!!

So since I haven't actually drawn anything in a couple of months, I spent the past week trying to draw or find an anime to watch. Turns out, I got sucked into Haikyuu!! and finished it all in two days. Now I'm just reading the manga and eagerly awaiting season 2. 

Oh! Also eagerly awaiting Hetalia season 6 and Attack on Titan season 2. Anyone else???


Anyways, yeah I've just been having school work continuously dumped on me.

But I actually have been trying to work on a cosplay for this year's upcoming AnimeNEXT in NJ. I actually have a strange collection of cosplay options. Sooo, help me guys. Should I go as:
1) Levi Ackerman ((Attack on Titan))
2) Hinata Shoyo ((Haikyuu!!))
3) APH Luxembourg ((Hetalia))
4) Teutonic Knight Prussia ((Hetalia)).

I already have the Levi cosplay done, and I just need to find a nice pair of boots for the Luxembourg cosplay, but I'm working on the cosplay for Prussia. Since I really wanted to go for the medival knight look ((I based it off the actual knight designs)), I'm actually starting with making the chainmaille from scratch. It's been about two weeks and I've gotten a good amount of work done. It's my first time working with chainmaille and I've gotten almost the entire torso done. But holy crap do my fingertips hurt. 

ANYWAYS, enough of that. Let's move onto my personal stuff ((ooohhh)). Yes guys, I have a life too. Well, yeah let's just say that I have an actual life.

BEWARE, If you cannot yet tell, this is an extremely long journal entry so uh, yeah. Read on and keep reading only if you want to I guess.


Recently I've also just been really discouraged by a lot of things around me. Yeah, I've been having artist's block and all that fancy stuff, but I've seeing so many better artist's among my peers and I feel like I can't keep up and will just end up somewhere in the dust and ashes. Which of course, I don't plan on doing because I really do want to be an art major and take it all seriously. But yeah... It's just really hard to be surrounded by so many people that are better than you, in real life and online.
And not just in the artistic aspect too. Yeah, art is just about the only thing I really do have a passion for an love and can execute well ((at a mediocre level at least)). But I do have other hobbies and activities and sports and all that I'm really interested in and want to do well too. And it really just brings me down when I see other people that can do it so much better than I can.

Okay guys, depressing session is over.
Anyways, even if I can't do a lot of things really well, that just means that I have to try harder and that there's always room for improvement, right???

Anime has taught me some great life lessons and quotes... (^^^^^)
And anime has seriously taught me some patience. Seriously. Having to constantly wait for episodes and chapters to be released... I really want to learn to read Japanese. Kana at least. My sister said that when I'm older, she'll take me to Japan since she's already been there once.
But for now, my mom has agreed to support my German learning and stuff ((YAAYYY *throws sparkles*)). 




Anyways...
Woop that was a lot of stuff to type out. Thank God that this isn't on my phone. I usually go onto dA on my phone.

But that's it for today. It's night where I am and I should technically be sleeping even though I still have homework to do...

Oh! One last thing before I go. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to give up on anything relationship related and just become a cat person. Or an anime person. Or both. Relationships are too far away from my reach. At least what I want to achieve. Basically, in a nutshell, the person is my best friend, and we both consider each other siblings ((no, we're really not if you were wondering)), and when I told them, they profusely apologised how they didn't love me back in the romantic sense, and I just backed off and acknowledged their boundaries. But I asked them if they were uncomfortable with me loving them in the romantic sense or if they would prefer me not to. They weren't uncomfortable with it, but they said that I probably shouldn't love them in that sense, following up and saying that they'll never love me back in the same way. Welp, there goes that. I think I'll stick to my anime now.


I swear this is the end of this journal now. Okay bye~